Mommies Are People, Too

Week of Jan 25, 2010

1. Read 369 page book by Friday – courtesy of my history teacher
2. Meet with Tee Ball League representative about the tee ball team I started at his school (what was I thinking)
3. Run  a total of two hours for the rest of the week- Training (does not seem like much, but I am extremely out of sharp)

This is all I can remember at the moment. I thought it would be boring this week to just add the regular everyday task. Like cooking and laundry- I mean we have to do this anyway. So the items list above are extras , that I added on myself by choice.

Till Tomorrow,

Carolyn

I don’t know about the rest of you, but everyday my husband and I worry all the time about work/life balance. I have been a stay-at-home mom, with much sacrifice so that we would not have to deal with this for the most part. I remember going back to work in the fall of 08. I left the job after 3 months because there was just to much to consider. I didn’t get home till 8pm after leaving at 7am in the morning. It was too far, I was expected to work every weekend. I was completely hard on my family, but I really need a job for so many reasons. It still worries me, how we’ll handle it all.

Too many American families are dealing but under far worst circumstances. Here is a link to a blog radio that is devoted to the issues of working families. Take a listen.

via 2010 Wake Up! Campaign at Fem2pt0 : society’s issues + women’s voices.

So I have abandon the blog dare. I know, I know – that is no way to start off the year. But honestly I don’t know what I was thinking. Between, my son, husband, school, training for the race in March, and all the volunteering. I can’t do it everyday. Plus, given my sometime controversial topic on issue I believe in, the blog doesn’t necessarily fit with all mommy communities.

I will continue, some weeks everyday other week not so much. It will all depend. I am happy through I have decided to add video to the blog – this week make it a lot easier to post with more consistency.

So till tomorrow,
Carolyn

“This one step – choosing a goal and
staying to it – changes everything.”
- Scott Reed

Today marks the second week of my training for the 5K, I am running in March. Before I arrived at the location when we(the group) runs on Saturday morning. I was not feeling it at all. I was late, really didn’t want to get out of bed. At the same time I was making excuses for not running, or skipping this week’s run with ladies.

But I made, and I was late so I had to run the course alone. I walk most of the way, again filled with a excuses. “Well I am walking/ running because I think I am coming down with something.” Along with ” It’s way too cold to be out here, why are we doing this?”

After my run alone, I met up with the other ladies at Phidippides- the store that’s the meeting place for the run. We were greeted by breakfast and other activities by sponsors of the different runs out of this location. After much needed water I met with my unofficial partner Elissa. We began to talk, Elissa explain to me, that she has been doing this types of events for five years. She said started by working out with a training – and her training convinced her to run. She told me it has add so much to her life. And even though she is not by-any-means an experienced runner. She has fun, she loves getting out and running and watching.

So, I thought to myself why am I so hard on myself. No one said I had to be great in the beginning. I am a novice. I don’t have experience, but I will get there. I just have to stick to it.

I tell my two year-old all the time – keep trying, don’t give, never give up. These are words I need to really start living by. Like the quote at the top – I choose a goal and even if it kills me this year for the first time in my life I am going to see it through. I will change my life this year, because it will change everything.

Carolyn

Can’t find the words to write about this day. So here is a post from one of my favorite blogger.

via The Undomestic Goddess: Why I am Pro-Choice (Blog for Choice Day 2010).

-

What is Blog for Choice Day?

Each year, NARAL Pro-Choice America poses a question to pro-choice bloggers before the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and then asks them to blog their answer on January 22.

Blog for Choice Day provides us with an opportunity to raise the profile of reproductive rights in the blogosphere, all the while celebrating Roe’s 37th anniversary. Plus, it’s a great way to let your readers and the mainstream media know that a woman’s right to choose is a core progressive value that must be protected and advanced. -prochoiceamerica.org

First Day of Women on the Move -training series at Phidippides in Atlanta.

Group Picture of all the ladies participating in the Saturday runs.

And a picture of my with my unofficial partner.

Carolyn

On MLK Jr. Day 2010, the Feminist Women’s Health Center asked me to volunteer and march with them at the King Day rally.Here are picture of me and Ben( my little activist) at the parade.

We walked for Women's Reproductive Rights!

My little activist

Volunteers of the Feminist Center

Her drum says "Beat Hate"

Because of King they get to march hand & hand

Last night Benjamin (my two year old) kept me up because he said his ears hurt. At first I checked his temp and when I realized he didn’t have a fever I disregarded the claim. However, an hour later when he was still holding his ears and waking up every ten minutes to express is discomfort. I started to panic. My son is pretty vocal, so I didn’t get him just holding his ears and saying they hurt and nothing else.

What could this mean? I thought. Why is he doing this? I look at my husband for answer. With the same puzzle look in his face as me. We were both in the same place…with  no explanation. I was starting to worry because Benjamin would not let go or let us look at his ears.

My husband tells me just leave him when he is ready he’ll let us see. And while I sat there  in the living room watching Ben, I wondered. How do people do this for more then one child? The thought of something really being wrong, It was hard to live with, I was sitting there feeling helpless and wanting so bad to make my son feel better. All sorts of things thought were running through my head.

What if his ears are ringing because he is losing his hearing? Or what if something is leaking from his brain causing his ears to hurt, yes I know totally weird. But I could not help myself… I started to think this is why I feel I can’t do more then one kid.

The stress of raising a kid for me is sometime more then I can handle. So, why do we do it over and over again, (I mean human beings) People tell me all the time it gets easier with the second. But I am so sacred I don’t want to take that chance. I tell my mom all the time I think one is all I can handle. She says “you are over thinking it”

I watched a movie last night – I will not go into the topic because it is not appropriate for this post, but one of the women in the films said about motherhood.  “It is the best most life fulfill, worst, heart-wrenching job in the world.” (Something like that, anyway.) I am like yes, and my boy is only 2.

I feel for all the worrying and trying to do the best that I can. It will never be enough, I will somehow – mess it up, over think it and not enjoy it the best way I should. I can’t get over it, when you want to be the best parent you can be… it will forever be the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

BTW-Benjamin is fine; I don’t know what all that was about. But he woke up fine; I think I am going to take him to the doctors anyway, just to make sure.

Till tomorrow folks,

Carolyn