Working Mom
By carol. Filed in Uncategorized |
Lately I have had conflicting thoughts about staying at home or going back to work. I’ve been home now with my son for two years. And I although I’ve loved the experience, I am so ready for real conversation and a moment that belongs to me, even if that means clocking in. I have come to the conclusion that I am really done, no more children for me. I am a stay at home mom and I have loved it, but I am done with being at home. In other words I am done with being a full-time mom. (Is that wrong?) The thought makes me feel guilt. I have not made any real plans to go back to work, but I like I mention before, I really want to!!!
It isn’t like I have to return to work, I am lucky in that my husband makes a decent living. We have been able to stay a float without much sacrifice. However, I have always made my on money, granted it has never compared to what my husband brings home. But, if I need or want to do something selfishly for me and only me I could. I don’t have that luxury anymore. Here comes the guilt again, I feel like I should take full advantage of the fact that I don’t have to work and enjoy this time with my son. I know I’ll feel so much worst when I have to get up every morning and take my son to daycare. Talk is easy and although I feel I need more selfish time to be me, when put into practice it may feel so wrong. After all, my son is here because I selfishly wanted him too. He didn’t ask to be here. Furthermore, they are people who need the work more then I do, so I think I am going to let go of the idea of returning to work and enjoy my little boy a little while longer.